For the past two weeks, I have been figuring out all the aspects of my new business. This has brought out a whole host of inner critical voices that Abraham refers to as “the peanut gallery”. These are the ones who remind me of what has gone wrong in the past, tell me that I am stupid, and say that I’ll never succeed or call me lazy. Whew! In simply typing those words, I could feel a tightening in my chest. It seems to me that my sensitivity to my feelings has been heightened as a result of my daily meditation practice.
Sensitivity is a super power. Being able to discern a negative feeling early on allows me to nip it in the bud. I can soothe myself right away before the momentum gets going and causes me to spiral into a bad place. Soothing is a skill worth practicing. Talking to myself in a loving, encouraging way is healing and empowering. It mimics the way my Inner Being feels about me. When I am kind to myself, I feel better because I am agreeing with my Inner Being who is holding the vision of my happy, successful, aligned self.
My Inner Being has also reminded me of how I learn best. I remembered how I preferred to learn new skills as a child and I have realized that I need to figure things out on my own and in my own time. There is no urgency. All is well. This mantra came to me last week:
It calms me right down and helps me to realize that the admonishments from the peanut gallery are just old thoughts that were spoken to me by well-meaning people in my past who were out of alignment and who believed in motivation rather than inspiration. They didn’t know how the laws of the Universe worked so they were well-versed in criticism and blame as methods of dealing with disappointments. In the present, I can honor my personal method of learning as being the right one for me. I can encourage myself to keep moving forward at my own pace and only when I feel aligned. I can give myself the time I need to get into alignment before I act.
The business is coming together day by day. I am clarifying what I want it to be and how I want it to fit into my life. I am reminding myself to focus on fun and satisfaction and joy in every step of it. I love having questions and then letting the Universe lead me to the answers. I love that this is my very own project and it is working out just the way I knew it would. I even love how it is bringing up old limiting ideas that I held about myself and watching these negative thoughts dissipate like big soap bubbles that have just been popped, losing all their power in the process.
It feels so good to become more of who I really am as each day passes. This is what I dearly want. I want to reclaim my true self and find the thrill of being the full expression of myself, unabashedly and joyfully regardless of what is going on around me. I want to continue to enjoy the deepening of my understanding of the laws of the Universe and I want to see just how much fun it can be!